Kids and Innocence!!

As usual getting ready to school is a story by it's own, yet let me skip the details. Amidst of Daddy and Son having their arguments on yet another day in the morning, Thatha was trying to help grandson for getting his shoes on. Daddy already on the height of temper told Thatha(his daddy) to not do it. Appa neenga edhuvum panna vendam, sonnadhu kekkadha payanukku en ella velaiyum seyyareenga. Vidunga avane paathukattum. Son's reply 'apdilam solladheenga. apdi solla koodadhu. avanga pannattum' and yet again, all of daddy's bad temper was washed off by the innocence. Kids are always amazing and I wish adults carry that innocence!!

Another incident, now between Thatha and Grandson. After school is another story everyday and since grandparents are home to help the kids, it's a hearty laugh to hear the tales from them. Harshad when told what to do, will perform well. When instructions are not available, things fly into every corner he can see. So this was one of his hyper, excited, restless day and school bag fly into the foyer, shoes left uncared and he was on the lookout for some snacks. Just like all the kids, he thinks he can handle things himself when it comes to getting snacks from pantry, etc. I, knowing him have kept all the snacks on the top rack where he cannot reach easily, but to my dismay and I'm sure most parents will encounter this, he uses the shelf as his stairs and reaches the top. When he did the same, thatha took a stick, gave a light shout and pretended to hit him and what he did in response made us all forget his mischievousness. He silently came back to the sofa, sat there and asked ippo naan enna pannattum sollunga in a very soft voice. Do anyone even think of punishing him after this statement with a appavi face?

On the other hand, he knows his tactics very well is all I can say. Let kids be kids and help us forget few of the stress we have in day to day life.

A Look Back...

Well, here I'm after a year and quarter thinking on what to write for the blog. There's a lot that has happened in the past year, but what's more interesting and worthy to write? Let me think……

Ok, got a hint of what to write - a look back at the past year, experiences and lessons learnt! Having school going kids, year is always the school year for us and not calendar year, as everything happens during the school year. Hence my experiences include both 2013 and 2014.

Life has been a roller coaster the very past year.

Due to multiple reasons like, time for homework and schedule for other activities, Shreshu ended up being enrolled in swim team for the morning practices from 6-7AM three days a week. With that said, morning swimming practices needed her to be in the pool by 5:50AM, which means waking her up at 5 in the morning. I had been hearing lots of imprecation; not exactly curse but grumbling from Peter, for having her do this. I cannot relate this to me, as I had been doing the same exact thing during my childhood days with my basketball practice, tuition, school, track and field practice, basketball practice, tuition. I started doing all this from my 8th grade probably, but Shreshtha had started a little early, to be precise 4yrs earlier than me, that is from her 4th grade. Being a sportsperson, I have a feeling, that a person, who's desire is any sorts of sports, has to give up so many little things in life including their sleep. I understand, well balanced sleep is the key necessity for any human being, and for a sportsperson it is one of THE necessity to have enough sleep, so their performance is not thwarted. To prove this point, let me take you back several years to my school days. This day stays as green in my mind, as the lesson I learnt was through my own bad and good experiences. During one of my basketball matches, after our win in the first match in the morning, we girls were happily chatting about the game and feeling proud, that we forgot to take enough rest for our next match. We played our second game, but alas, to our dismay we lost the match even though we were strong players. Our coach, when discussing about the reasons for our loss indicated that lack of sleep/rest is the key reason. Being a little girl, I quite did not agree to it, but did not speak back for the fright of getting shouted at or beaten by the PT teacher (we were not like kids here right!). The very next day when we had match in the morning as well as in the evening, our coach made sure that we slept for an hour or two after our morning match. I and other players were dumbfounded, when we played with extra energy in our evening match and won with amazing scores. It was then I realized how much sleep can help gather energy. So now, with Shreshtha, I do know that she needs enough sleep to perform well in anything she does and making her go to bed on time is another blog worthy story. The moment I start Shreshu get to bed, she's all with amma can I say onething, amma I have 2, actually 3 things to say I mean 2 statements and one question, amma can you look into my homework, amma can you sign this up for me, amma which dress should I wear tomorrow, amma can I sleep in this dress or should I change this dress, amma Harshad is getting on my bed, Harshaaaaaad STOP, etc etc. All this happens from 8:30PM to 9:30PM, when I finally had lost my patience and scream from my stomach Shreeeeeeeeeeeeeshthaaaaaaaaaaa can you get to your bed right NOW. Sometimes, even after my hollering, she had come to me saying amma just one last thing, please one last thing, but for me the adrenaline is all up due to the hour worthy of sleep lost. Yet my intuition always told me, she's just a little girl, don't shout; how I surmounted my tension - a stare at her for a minute without opening my mouth. This had always worked and 2 minutes later she had always been on her dreams.

The next up in our schedule for a roller coaster life - our dance practices. One of the major steps in Shreshtha's life as well as mine was OUR Bharathanatyam dance performance. Though we had been told about having performance in the past (before 2013), it never came to reality. The end of 2013 and the start of 2014 confirmed us of our performance dates and created whirlwind of eeriness in my mind. Shreshtha as always was valiant of the performance, and I'm still not sure if it is the age factor or the quality she inherited from her dad. For me, to dance in front of friends itself had been a major barricade; thinking of me in front of audience drove me crazy. Still we both put our effort in the midst of all other activities. Thinking of it now, I feel how we did all these scheduling, practicing, where we got the energy to run around, what would have we done if all these activities were not meant to be in our lives. I should thank almighty and my parents, especially my mom for bequeathing me all her qualities - whether it be cooking or the energy levels. It was and is from her that I'm able to do all the stuff that I do now. I also feel that she did not force anything into me but rather kept on saying what she had gone through in her life in a very positive way. All what I heard as a child did not make sense towards life, it was, at that time pure stories to pass time by, but now when I look back and think about how I'm now, makes more meaning, that it was all life worth of teaching she had inculcated in me. Now, writing all this rings a bell in me that, I'm not doing any of those what my mom did to me, to my children. I rather shout or give a advise speech for Shreshtha on what, why, where and how she's expected on several things, but writing down is really helping me think as a third person on how I should be with the kids. I take a promise here to implement whatever I'm doing right now in a positive, fun filled way.

Having looked back at the past year, comprehending how to handle kids better, now I have the new school year before me. This year is going to be busier than before, with Harshad starting Kindergarten and various other activities (already enrolled in Karate, Running and Swimming). I have full confidence in my trait I have received and conviction in my kids that they would cooperate and enjoy doing whatever I introduce them to. I also have great reliance in my better half that he'll be there to support me in whatever I do for myself, our kids and our family.

Expecting another great year to spend, experience and learn lots of new stuff!!

This post is just a way for me and Peter to cherish the way Shreshu & Harshu are doing personally and at school. Shreshtha is in 3rd grade at the time this post was created and she is improving in all sorts of ways both academic and personally. As parents, especially as working parents, I wouldn't say we missed a lot of development in our kids, but to a certain extent we did miss the ways she has been improving on. To put it in a different way, I just get to know what she's learning and how she's doing, but when it comes to the details of her growth like reading/writing skills, knowledge on a certain topic, I can certainly say we missed them. As an advanced academic student and with the guidance of her class teacher Mr. D, a really wonderful teacher who is also very geeky, Shreshtha has been learning lot of new stuff. I'm writing this post as an example of what detail I'm missing in her growth.

Her class teacher went on a parental leave, to welcome his new born son and to spend some time with him. During this time, he has been just wonderful in keeping in touch with his class kids via the Blackboard (website for class related updates). In one of his posts, he checked how the kids were doing, what their plans were for the new year and few other questions. He posted some pictures of his new born and asked them their favorite and what the baby might have been thinking when that photo was taken. I did not provide any help to Shreshu related to these questions. She reviewed few of the posts from other students and framed hers. I wasn't thinking this to be very important as it does not pertain to the grade or her success, which now I think was a ridiculous thought. So I paid little attention to what she wrote. Now it's been more than a month and accidentally checked her post/reply and was amazed with the way she had put the words. Every time something like this happens I promise myself to pay more attention to what she say and what she does. Now, below is the content that her teacher posted and her reply to it.


Class,

I must tell you how proud that I am with the progress that you have made on you Reading E -Cart Assessment! A big reason as to our success is what we do on Mondays with our standardized test practice. Remember, everything that we do has a purpose.

Secondly, you will be taking you Math - Ecart test next week. As you will remember, we scored a 68% on our first quart assessment. Remember, this test will cover everything that you learned during the first quarter, so really put forth a lot of effort into your morning work and math workshop activities. Our pinata celebration will take place when I return.

Lastly, Mrs. De Francesco and I have attached pictures of the baby for your to look at and enjoy.It has been an awesome time away with our new addition. Your homework, is to keep in touch during this next week. In your response, answer the following questions:

1. How have you been doing personally?

2. What are some new things that you learned?

3. What is a goal that you have for the third quarter?

4. Choose a picture from the list that I have given you, write an appropriate caption that illustrates what the lil D may be saying the picture. Have fun with this!!!!

5. This is for everyone, so you must participate !!!

Well, I have to go change lil D's diaper now so see you soon and remember that I care for each and every one of you and can't wait to see you in a few days.

With love,

Mr. De Francesco

Shreshtha's Reply

Ehhm.... So first of all I want to ask if sleepy is well going [poopy] and changing and listening since the first few days? Answer=

Now... #1. Personally I am doing fabulous and I am sortive improving in writing prompts.

#2. I learned about prefixes and suffixes and

not finished... here's evidence. A prefix is the beginning part of a word. And a suffix is the end part of the word.

#3.My goal for [specifically] 2013 is to learn better cursive than I am writing now.

#4. #3. I love all of the pictures but most 2 favorites [not 1]are the ones with the foot ball and the tie. In the one with the tie he might be dreaming to be a teacher like you [you have to teach him for a head start]and for the one that he laying on the football he might want to be on the Ravens Team!!!!!

Hope u guys have a good time with your new born baby and we miss you!!Come back before Valentines day! And I can't wait till you come back after a long time on Monday.!

Whisper for Strength!

Wow! It’s the end of the year again and I don’t even know how time flew off. This year was yet another smooth year I should say; no hassles at the same time no surprises.
Few days back after returning from office, was watching some aerobics program along with kids. My daughter on seeing this became enthusiastic, as she had just done Zumba with her favorite aunt couple of days back, wanted to do aerobics and started doing it. She followed the steps and was doing with ease, when I jumped in to join her. Already exhausted from long day of work which started at 4am, I couldn’t continue after few minutes. I went back in the sofa and started watching the program, which was interesting. How would it be, if we can burn the calories by just watching the program? Just a small wish :-D!! Few minutes later, my kiddo was tired too; after all she did have a long day for her age and came back to the sofa telling “avanga Whisper potrupanga ninaikaren”. I was appalled and was not sure what I heard. When I asked her what it was, she replied “I think they wear Whisper, that panty, that’s why they have enough strength to do so long”. (Though she replied everything in Tamil, I want it to be easy for reading). Initially I was bemused; but I recollected my memory on why she told this and remembered some advertisement on Whisper or something else showing that you can go long hours without ____. Now I got the point and I wanted to burst into laugh, but couldn’t, because she might stare at me with a cynic look. I laughed very little and explained it doesn’t work that way, and only the food she takes will help her build strength. Moreover I didn’t want to create some kind of doubt/distrust for her and think her mom is hiding something from her, which might make her gather information in clandestine. That was it and I did not bring the topic again; watched aerobics for a while in silence. Later that day, I shared this with Peter and had a hearty laugh; of course she was not around and was asleep for the day :-). I wanted to share this with friends immediately, but at the same time did not want to share it over the phone. I was waiting to see everyone in person. Though it’s only couple of days since this happened, my impatience is eating me. I couldn’t wait until I see everyone in person, so made a post out of it. This way I can make sure memories are not forgotten and Shreshu will get her chance to look at this at a later point in time and have a laugh to herself; maybe she’ll share this back to me :-).

My Daughter’s Summer Vacation – A Mind Opener!

Summer vacation - one of the most desired periods of the year for almost every kid, except for those geniuses who plan to learn all through the year and for those who start preparing for the next school year. I still remember the days of my vacation which was spent lavishly being outdoors. I also remember well the very great homework of writing the annual question & answer (??) 3 times for all the subjects, which is not worth enough except for the handwriting skills. As a student getting promoted to the next class/grade what use would it be to write previous years question & answers not once, not twice, but thrice. Yet, did I write them on time, NEVER. It so happens every year that I would be searching for the question papers just 2 weeks before the school reopens and the following 2 weeks would be a life with paper/pencil/scale/rubbers and lots of accusation from my mother for doing it at the last moment. Poor she, the older generation (hehe) who is always organized and accomplished tasks even before it’s time, would never understand the younger generation (:-?) and the happiness of rushing at the very end and yet finishing it ON time. Whether it be quarterly, half-yearly or annual vacation, homework are to be done only at the last moment, few times in the new classroom on the very first day of school. What have I done during the rest of the period? PLAY PLAY and more PLAY. The streets were not occupied with vehicles as they are these days, but with cycles and few bikes (TVS-50 kinda bikes) may be, so parents were least bothered about kids being hit by a vehicle or anything. To add to this, TVs were not the source of entertainment in those days and so kids not just one or two kids were outside, but all of the kids in the entire street. We had a park just opposite of my home with lots of trees. We played hide and seek (Kannamoochi, my favourite hiding spot is the top of the tree), catch me(odi pidichu vilayaduradhu), capturing country(naadu pidikuradhu), color game(yaaradhu peyadhu), 7 stones, mancala(pallanguli), chottangal, dhaayam, butterfly/dragon fly catching with thumbai chedi leaves, etc, etc. All the kids gather around 10:30 or 11 after breakfast and the only time we get into the house is for lunch, not even loo break. We just play & play & play all day long climbing trees, walls, running around the street, hiding behind walls, etc. One other important part of the play: getting a bicycle for rent, what fun it is to have a own cycle and ride it whenever wished for rather than fighting over with mummy, calling in daddy for support to get Rs.1 or 2 for an hour’s rent, get the cycle, ride/race it around the street and rush to the cycle store to return but be always late by 5mts and beg with the store person not to charge extra.

Now, when I see my daughter in summer vacation, I really feel awful. Last couple of years had been easy on her, since we either had grandparents at home or we travelled to India. This was the first summer vacation when none of this happened and we ended up being on ourselves. Being a house where both parents work, my daughter ended up in a summer camp. All summer long (2.5months), what she knew was to get up at the same time as she did while going to school, do the same chores which she did all year long and leave the house at exactly the same time. In addition to this the summer camp was academic driven; yet another story. I chose a camp which enhances them in their academic strength, so she will be prepared for the aptitude test following school year. She did not have academic work just at the camp, but some homework as well, which I made sure she did. It was such a mechanical routine to wake up, get ready, have breakfast, run to camp, do tests in english, math, patterns, have lunch, continue the same again, come home, relax for may be 10mts, do homeowork, go to bed at the exact same time. As an adult we have the ability to understand and process it ourselves, but as a 6year old kid, my daughter started to feel not just bored, but a big mental stress which she neither was able to explain nor take it as it is. Just after a week or two I felt terrible when she started whining about not going to school, not the camp, but the regular school itself. It was a total shock for us, since all this while (2yrs until now) she has been happy going to school and never wanted to take off even if she was sick. I started realizing what was happening and there came a "Gnanodhayam" for me. That's when I thought of my summer vacation and compared it to hers. It was indeed a mind opener for me and I started changing my attitude towards her homework or for that matter total academics itself.

As a 21st century women, I wish to be working rather than sitting at home, but at the same time, I really feel appalling about the children’s situation. I personally feel they are not given/getting the love and affection which we used to enjoy in our childhood. We were pampered not just by parents, but by all relatives and friends. Also, I guess we had the wonderful childhood one could ever have, not even our parents, at-least mine, when they were all working on the farms in their childhood. All of these thoughts, made me realize how precious and important childhood is and what I should be providing to my children. I changed myself in few ways and still trying to change few other habits/practices at home to come out of the parent role and be a child when I’m with my child; I hope this will help build a good relationship with my kids as well as provide them a memorable childhood.

Black Friday!

Black Friday sale is the out of the ordinary incident that happened recently and what I & my friends were so zealous about, for days and days before it arrived. It’s with everyone’s habit in the US to look for deals when a need for some thing rises. And if Thanks Giving is nearby, then it’s put on hold until the day after Thanks Giving. This is because, it’s a tradition in US, the day after Thanks Giving all the retailers put their items on reduced sale price. Rather than saying it’s a tradition, it has been made a tradition, as Akshaya Thiridhiyai in India has become now. And this special (?!) day is called Black Friday. So, let me tell what Black Friday is, why this particular Friday falling after Thanks Giving called a Black Friday? In the US, holiday season starts after Thanks Giving (last Thursday of November) and ends with New Year. As shopping becomes intense for Deepavali in India, so do the holiday season here marks the time for shopping and all the retailers put their items on sale (?!), as though they were not for sale before (hehe). It doesn’t mean that way, but all or most of the items are priced lower than their original value and hence it becomes a good deal for the buyers. Hence, during the holiday season, people shop more and the retailers gain benefit. Until the season before the holidays the sale is not so good and the retailers might have a debt, which is specified as Red. And during the holiday season, the sale booms resulting in an increase in retailer’s earnings, thus making the shop Black, meaning retailers gain profit. This is how Day after Thanks Giving is now. Nevertheless, in older days this was handled a little differently, manufacturers who release a new product or a new version of a product want to give the customers a sample of their product before it actually gets released. So these products are priced lower than their original value; this has taken several turns & twists and has become a mandatory sale event for every retailer on this big day. There is also another saying to this Black Friday, which is actually a tribute to a person named Black, who died on a Friday after thanks giving. Visit this site for more information about him and how it turned around to be something different. http://thecitydesk.net/2006/11/21/why-its-called-black-friday/

Anyways, coming to the shopping and deal searching business that is happening now, almost every shop releases a circular of what they are gonna put on sale that particular day. Everyone who wants to purchase something at a good deal, go through this advertisement and select the shops they want to purchase. Though the items had already been published in the advertisement, shopping is not as easy as one may envisage. The shops will either have very few numbers on a particular sale item, or in some cases just one piece. Also the shops open at around 3 or 4 in the morning and to get into the shop to purchase the items one may need, people start gathering before the shop from around 12o’clock. Imagine the weather during November and how it would be at midnight; however no one seems to be bothered about the weather compared to what they want to purchase. When the shop is open, they rush in like anything and search the item they need, grab them. I’m not aware of what happened last 2 years, but this year there has been shooting and crashing in 2 places, just because people wanted to get into the shop. I feel very awkward about these happenings. This may be very common in places like US, where everyone holds a gun and shoot for no reason. Aren’t these people civilized? Just to get the items at lower prices, they have actually taken away the life of a person. This price of a human life is way up high for the items they buy. Will they be happy whenever they see or use the item they purchased? The invention of science and advancements in technology is actually making people abhorrent and they start being self oriented. Compared to the life our ancestors had, we are leading a dreadful life with all life saving equipments. I speculate, though we inculcate good habits to kids, how do they become indifferent when they are adults. Is it the society making them behave differently or the parents are not bringing up their children with good habits? The answer is simply both, since we the people make the society. I’m also of the opinion, it’s us the generation in the past couple of decades, who have lost some good values from our ancestors and hence so much hatred, violence, etc. Yes, without any vacillation I would like to take the blame, but I also feel like this generation has started realizing what they have lost and gained due to being self oriented. This has resulted in training their kids with good behavior and I hope these kids would help make a better future. To also ensure this happens, the parents of kids should spend QUALITY time with their kids, so they understand the value of LOVE, SHARE AND CARE. Kids brought up with love and care would never retaliate when something they need doesn’t happen. Let’s be obstinate in cultivating good values to our kids and make a superior world tomorrow.

PS: After all these explanations, I must say what I did on this great day. We(me & my friends) all gathered together to discuss about when and where to go; but ended up chit-chatting until 1o’clock in the morning, returned home without any plan, did some browsing of the deals till 2:30AM. Then, me the good soul woke Peter up at exactly 6o’clock and sent him to a shop to buy some items we needed. Finally, as a small help for the retailers from us, we ended up spending few hundred dollars :-D.

Fall Colors!!

Well, to begin with, I have been busy with release dates and work. Moreover, I had a tough time deciding what to write. So after a long thought…here I’m with Fall Colors. In my stay of 2.5years in the US, I haven’t noticed Fall to be this gorgeous. I wonder if I have missed noticing in the past years, or this year is more beautiful. I hope and wish it’s the later. I had been to Shenandoah Valley along friends and family for viewing Fall colors and I should say it was a wonderful visit. Because I had been to this place before even, but during spring/summer and wasn’t much impressed. This time, though it was cold and freezing as we reached the top, it was an amazing visit. Nature has so many surprises for us and Fall color is one among them. As winter approaches, leaves change their color to Yellow, Pink, Red, Brown, etc and mix of these colors is a pleasure for the eyes. All my way along Shenandoah, my camera didn’t rest for a single moment; I either have been clicking photos or shooting videos. I have seen in movies wherein the hero and heroine either have a duet song or walk along the fall colors in some foreign location. All those days I have admired those sceneries rather than the song or the movie. And now I’m in ecstasy to sight-see them in real-time. On my way to office as well, I have been admiring the colors, in spite of paying attention to the traffic. I also have been taking videos with my cell phone, when I would be driving to pick my daughter. Don’t wonder why I’m talking so crazy, but Fall color is the best thing I have been impressed with, this year and I would remember it for my life time. I just don’t have words to explain more, but this should be experienced in real. For all those gifted, enjoy nature, enjoy life!!